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Some creative maladies not a lot of people know about…

Lots of people know about Writer’s Block. I am prone to it occasionally (though when I was too young to know any better, I assumed a Writer’s Block was something you used to lean on to stop yourself engraving your homework into your grandparents’ kitchen table).

So. Writers get Writer’s Block. (Or, if you want to be really honest with yourself, writers Get Stuck And Go For A Long Walk.)

Writer’s Block is only just the tip of the iceberg – creative people of all types don’t just suffer from Block, they can have such strange disesases as:

THE SCRIBBLES: wanting to produce a masterpiece, but unable to think of any worthwhile subject, most artists suffering from this disease spend their final days doodling in margins and giving themselves tattoos. Death by ink poisoning may follow, or starvation/exhaustion, especially if the victim is also suffering from…

THE SHAKES: does what it says on the tin. Symptoms appear if you haven’t eaten for more than four hours. Solution: eat a banana (but peel it first). Avoid dropping the skin, as this can be a contributing factor to…

THE CHARLIES: symptoms include an abundance of top lip hair, a twitching facial nerve that causes the nose and top lip to tremor and the eyebrow to jump up and down. This is so debilitating, sufferers of this disease have been known to lose their voice, wear loose fitting trousers and walk with the aid of a stick. Walking in general is difficult in baggy trousers anyway, especially on discarded banana skins.

In some cases, people who try to cure themselves of THE SHAKES try eating a snickers bar instead of a banana, an overdose of which leads to a case of THE SNICKERS, symptoms of which include nutty behaviour, an affinity for peanuts and constant sniggering at nothing. People in the advanced stages of THE SNICKERS drive around in a tank, demanding people “get some nuts”. The only cure for this problem is a cold shower.


About chasingwoozles

I am a writer. Passionate about music, doing various random creative things, and making people laugh!

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